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Before you judge someone's food choices, ask yourself these questions 👉
It's easy to look at someone's food choices and compare them to what you would be eating right now at your current hunger level, in your current emotional state, with your current privileges, with your current morals and values, with your current relationship with food.
We're conditioned to compare our choices to others and are taught there's a hierarchy in foods. But commenting on what someone is eating, at best, makes for an awkward conversation, and at worst, can trigger guilt or shame in the person we're speaking to.
There's so much more than meets the eye when it comes to when, what, how much, and why people choose to eat. We have no business going around policing what other people choose to put in their bodies.
The next time you catch yourself silently judging what someone else is eating. Or you notice the impulse to comment on or criticize someone else's food choices, ask yourself:
- Do I know what financial resources this person has?
- Do I know what foods are culturally important to this person?
- Do I know this person’s current hunger level?
- Do I know this person’s current emotional state/emotional needs?
- Do I know this person’s journey and history with food?
- Do I know if this person has an active eating disorder or is in recovery from an eating disorder?
- Do I know the messages this person received about food in childhood?
- Do I know if this person has a history of food insecurity?
- Do I know this person's philosophy on health?
- Do I know what memories or associations this person has with certain foods?
If you answered "no" to ANY OF THOSE QUESTIONS - I urge you to hold your tongue.
In reality, there is hardly ever a time when it's appropriate to comment on someone's food choices. But I offer these questions to point out how many unseen and unknown factors contribute to a person's relationship with food.
Nothing good comes from passing judgment on - or even "politely" critiquing or commenting on - someone's food choices. Most likely, you have NO idea what their experience of eating is like since it's a topic that many people avoid even in the most intimate of relationships.
So. Print out those questions if you need to. Type them into a note on your phone. Make a pledge to actively try to challenge your impulses and automatic thoughts.
Those who eat in your presence will thank you. ❤️
⭐️ Random updates and things that are bringing me joy ⭐️
🌊 Baby went to the beach for the first time last Monday!!!! It. was. so. fun.
📺 I got sucked into the most recent season of The Ultimatum: Queer Love. It's not my favorite reality series of all time, but it's one that I must see through to the end since I started it and then Google every cast member and read all the latest gossip and updates. Mal is my new role model for wisdom and how to remain grounded through painful emotions. 😭 Can we all agree she's an icon?!
👋 In case you've forgotten who I am, I did a little "hello post" on IG last week. Check it out here and let me know what we do or don't have in common!
⭐️ ICYMI: My most recent blog post ⭐️
I hope you have an amazing week, Reader! Welcome to summer!!!! 🌻☀️🏖️
Sending you lots of loveeeee,
Pssst... I'm a real person, reading and replying to each and every email, so don't hesitate to reach out with thoughts or questions! I truly love hearing from you!
Intuitive Eating Counselor & YNAB Budget Coach
This is a place where we challenge diet-culture, reconnect to the wisdom of your body, and push back against societal "shoulds." Sign up below to receive monthly emails full of education and encouragement to support you on your healing journey with your body, food, and money!
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